|
Uncle Saggy is nothing man, I'm talking a real movie! This article is either a stub or is under construction. Things might get changed or edited later. You can help the Stickin' Around Wiki by fixing to this article. |
Bradley: Ahh... nothing like chilling out in the pool with a cold Mr. Fizzy and a bag of Cheez Poopers after a hard day at school.
Polly, William, Stacy and Dill: Cannonball!
Stacy: Uh-oh. Where is he?
Stacy: Bradley! It's whales that have blowholes, for your big, fat information. Biology class?
[Stacy yelps as Bradley sprays her again from offscreen.]
Bradley: Guess I must have missed that class.
[A foghorn blares.]
Bradley: Whoa, man!
Dill, William, Stacy and Polly: What's that funky smell?
[The scene cuts to Lance and Russell, imagined as sailors, on a ship.]
Russell: What?
Stacy [offscreen]: It's Captain Lance and his smelly first mate, Russell.
Lance: Wedgie time, Scradley.
Lance: Don't give 'im any slack, dude!
Russell [offscreen]: Whoa. Lost 'im.
Lance [offscreen]: Dweeb loaded.
Russell [offscreen]: Yeah, aim.
[Lance raises his leg.]
Lance: And fire, dude!
[Lance kicks the trash can, sending Bradley and garbage flying into the air. Bradley screams.]
Russell: Whoa, cannonball.
Stanley: Yagen-frazzle! Blasted flim-flam!
[Stacy helps Bradley out of the pool. His chest is now red.]
Stacy: Major belly flop, B-Man. You’re red as a spotlight.
Bradley: So is your dad's head.
Stacy: Real mature, Bradley.
Bradley: No kidding, Stace. He's really steamed.
[Stanley walks over to the kids.]
Stanley: Ding-dang razzle-flasted flibbertigibbit flab-dab... Hi, pumpkin. Razzer-blister-ringer!
Stacy: Something wrong, Dad?
Stanley: I've spent all week cleaning up around here and it took you kids just five minutes to trash it again.
Polly [offscreen]: Sorry, Mr. Stickler!
William [offscreen]: We're sorry.
Stacy [offscreen]: Sorry, Dad.
Dill [offscreen]: Are we sorry or what?
Lance [offscreen]: It was the dweeb's fault, man.
Russell [offscreen]: What?
Stanley: No problem, kids. I'm sure you'll have just as much fun cleaning up this mess as you did making it. We'll even make a game of it: Operation Garbage Patrol. Who wants to be the first to volunteer?
[Beat.]
Stanley: Oh, well. I guess I'll just have to close the pool for a week.
[Everyone, except for Russell, raises their hand.]
Stanley: Great! Meet me right back here bright and early Saturday morning. We'll have the entire Latchkey Garden Apartments looking spick and span in no time. And Russell?
Russell: What?
[Stanley holds his nose as he walks past Russell.]
Stanley: You don't have to show up if you don't want to.
Bradley: Hey, how come Russell gets out of garbage patrol? That stinks!
Stacy: No, duh. Would you want to spend the day working beside Russell?
Bradley: That's it! I’m gonna beat Russell at his own smelly game.
[The scene transitions to the gymnasium.]
Mr. Lederhosen: All right, people. I wanna see you work up a sweat out there.
[Mr. Lederhosen blows his whistle as he throws a basketball. Bradley catches it near Stacy.]
Bradley: Stand back, Stace! This looks like a job for...
[Bradley transforms into a robot.]
Bradley: Sweat Man!
[Bradley begins sweating. He dribbles the basketball across the gymnasium as he floods the room with his sweat. He splashes some onto the students.]
Mr. Lederhosen: Now that's hustle! Good work, Bradley. Now hit the showers!
Bradley: As if.
[At the cafeteria, Bradley eats his sandwich. He offers it to Stacy.]
Bradley: Hey, Stace. Want a bite of my baked bean and onion sandwich?
[Saliva drips down from the bite.]
Stacy [offscreen]: Gross.
Bradley: How about a swig of Mr. Fizzy?
Stacy: Ugh, grosser. What's in there?
Bradley: About a ton of garlic.
[Bradley takes a bite out of his sandwich and a swig of his Mr. Fizzy. He belches at a houseplant, causing it to wilt. Russell walks by, carrying his lunch bag, and the houseplant disintegrates instantly. Bradley frowns.]
Stacy: Get over it, B-Man. Compared to Russell, you're a breath of fresh air.
[Bradley morphs into a pine tree air freshener.]
Bradley: No way.
[Bradley leaves the table. He puts on a swim cap.]
Bradley: I just have to step up my training schedule. I'll do a few laps before math class.
Stacy: Duh, Middlestick Elementary doesn't have a pool, for your big, fat information.
Bradley: Who said anything about a pool?
[Bradley lowers his snorkeling mask.]
Polly: I hate to pry into someone else's business, but I feel compelled to ask... what in the world does Bradley think he's doing?!
Dill [offscreen]: Holy mackerel!
[Bradley jumps inside a garbage can. Its sign reads "BIG HONKIN' GARBAGE CAN™". Bradley swims around in it. Polly, William, Ashley, and Dill look on in disgust.]
Stacy: He thinks he's going to reek his way out of garbage patrol.
[Bradley emerges from the garbage can, now a pile of garbage. Flies swarm around him.]
Bradley: [laughs] I am Jabba the Yuck. Smell my power.
[Bradley belches, creating a ring of gas that flies into the kids' faces.]
Dill: Holy mackerel!
[Everyone faints. Lance and Russell are eating sandwiches at their table and the gas flies into Lance's face. He falls out of his seat while Russell nonchalantly takes a bite out of his sandwich. Lance groans and raises his hand as Bradley laughs offscreen. Stacy, imagined as Obi Wan Kenobi, appears in Lance's seat and Russell puts his sandwich away.]
Stacy: It's up to you, Russell. The fate of the smell-o-verse is in your hands. Good luck, [pushes Russell aside] and may the stench be with you.
[The scene cuts to a boxing ring.]
Dill: Holy mackerel! Is this gonna be the battle of the century or what?
Polly: Yes, Dill. This promises to be a showdown of malodorous proportions.
Stacy: In this corner, the reigning heavy stench champion of the world, Russell "What's That Funky Smell!"
[The crowd cheers as the camera pans to Russell, wearing a robe.]
Russell: What?
Stacy: And in this corner, the challenger "I Stink So Bad" Bradley!
[The crowd boos as the camera pans over to Bradley, dressed as a boxer. He approaches Russell.]
Dill [offscreen]: And Bradley leads with a left armpit...
[Bradley raises his left armpit, fumes emanating from it.]
Dill [offscreen]: ...then a right armpit.
[Bradley raises his right armpit. He raises his left armpit again, then his right armpit.]
Dill: Another left, another right. Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right...
[The crowd gasps. The fumes hit Russell, but he is unaffected.]
Dill: Holy mackerel! It's amazing Russell's still standing, you guys!
Polly: Such a senseless act of violence was totally uncalled for.
Dill: The champ is finally making a move!
[Russell opens his robe and smiles as he releases his body odor. The fumes morph into a boxing glove and punches Bradley.]
Dill [offscreen]: Holy mackerel! It looks like Bradley's down for the count.
Bradley: [groans] I think I ate too many bean and onion sandwiches.
[Bradley's stomach gurgles as he makes burping noises.]
Dill: The challenger is trying to make a comeback.
Polly: And apparently, so is his lunch.
Stacy: He's gonna blow an onion, bean and garlic mega-belch!
[Polly screams as she and Dill hide behind the judges' table.]
Dill: Hit the deck or what?
Lance: He can't take it, man! No more, dude! No more!
[Bradley holds up a belt with "Heavy Stench Champ" inscribed on it as the paparazzi take pictures of him.]
Bradley: All right! I'm the new heavy stench champion of the world!
[The imagination sequence ends. Bradley now has fumes emanating from him.]
Bradley: How about a round of Mr. Fizzies to celebrate?
William: Later!
Dill: Some other time!
Bradley: Hey, isn’t anybody going to congratulate me?
[Stacy wafts the smell with her hand.]
Stacy: Yeah, right. Congratulations, Bradley. Not.
Bradley: Thanks, Stace.
[In the classroom, Bradley sits isolated at his desk.]
Bradley: Stace?
[Bradley looks around. Ms. Mobley is writing a math equation on the chalkboard. Bradley notices the students, who frown as they stand near a open window from across the room.]
Bradley: Oh, man. I got no one to talk to in math class.
[The school bell rings. Bradley walks on the sidewalk.]
Bradley: Ah, another day of school finished. Time to kick back with my new comic book...
Bradley #2 [offscreen]: And a bottle of Mr. Fizzy.
Bradley: My thoughts exactly. Aw, man. I'm talking to myself.
Bradley #2: Don't look at me. It's all your fault.
Bradley: Is not!
Bradley #2: Is too.
Bradley: Man, oh man, this is even worse! Now I'm arguing with myself!
Bradley #2: Are not.
[Bradley screams and runs away. He looks around and notices Polly, Stacy, Dill, and Melody.]
Bradley: Finally, someone to talk to. Hey, guys! Wait up!
Bradley: Ouch! Man, I think I'm losing it.
[Russell walks past Bradley.]
Bradley: Russell! Wanna hang out together?
Russell: [sarcastically] Whoa, what's that funky smell?
[Bradley frowns.]
Bradley: Man! Even Russell can't stand me. No one wants to be near me. No one.
[The American flag appears behind Bradley.]
Bradley: Yes! I'm sure to get out of garbage patrol now. I can’t wait 'til tomorrow morning. [laughs]
[The next day, Bradley opens his tent, fumes emanating from it. He yawns. Stacy, Lance, Polly, William and Dill are standing in front of him.]
Bradley: Morning, guys. Guess what? I had to sleep outside last night. Even my folks can't stand having me around. And neither will your dad, Stace. So, it’s no garbage patrol for me.
Stacy: I don't think so.
Bradley: Well, I know so, because I stink so!
Lance: Sloshing time, Scradley.
Bradley: [in slow-motion] No!
Stacy: You’re all washed up, Bradley.
Bradley: Yes! I'm dry! I'm dry! [sniffs his armpit] I still reek!
Stanley: Hey, kids. Good to see everyone's here right on time, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. It looks like we're all set for garbage patr-
Stanley: Pee-yew! Bradley, you are absolutely...
Bradley: Disgusting? Gross? Absolutely unfit for garbage patrol?
Stanley: Absolutely perfect for my garbage patrol mission impossible!
[He points to a dumpster.]
Stanley [offscreen]: Scrubbing out the dumpster! The way you smell, you're just the kid for the job.
[Bradley looks away, embarrassed. Lance scoops up a tire from the pool with a net, Dill rakes dust, and William throws garbage into a garbage bag held by Polly. Stanley and Russell stand at the dumpster. Flies buzz around Bradley as he talks from inside the dumpster.]
Bradley: I don't get it, Mr. Stickler. How come you let Russell get out of garbage patrol?
Stanley: Well, that's because Russell volunteers to clean the dumpster every Saturday, Bradley. I just thought I'd give him a break this time in appreciation for all the help he's given me in the past.
[As Stanley speaks, the camera pans down to Russell, smiling smugly.]
Russell: You're welcome.
Bradley: Man.
Stacy: You know what they say, B-Man. All's smell that ends smell.
[Bradley's face morphs into Russell, complete with hat, eyes, and freckles.]
Bradley: What?
[Episode ends.]