Ms. Mobley: Class, due to the continental weather, it will be an indoor recess... again.
[The students groan.]
Stacy: This is like the tenth in the row.
[The scene transitions to Stacy standing outside in a raincoat.]
Stacy: It's just a little rain. What does she think raincoats are for?
Bradley [offscreen]: Forget it, Stace. It's coming down in buckets.
Stacy [offscreen]: Very funny, Bradley. But it isn't raining buckets, it's raining cats and dogs.
Stacy and Bradley: Boring.
Dill: Holy mackerel, you guys! I don't know if I can take another indoor recess! I mean, I'm gonna go totally squirrelly or something, you know?!
[Dill runs inside a hamster wheel.]
Lance: Yeah. Being all cooped up like this makes my knuckles tingle. Time for an indoor pounding, Scradley!
[Lance pounds his fist into his hand as he walks to Bradley.]
Bradley: Aw, come on, Lance. Give me a-
Stacy and Bradley: Aw, man! What’s that funky smell?
Russell: What?
Lance: Back off, dude! How am I supposed to pound Scradley if my eyes are watering?
Bradley: Better open a window.
[Bradley opens the porthole, drawing water inside the ship.]
Lance: Hey!
Bradley: Captain's log: Wednesday, morning recess. It's been raining for forty days and forty nights.
[Inside the ark, various animal, arguing, and crashing sounds can be heard. The cellar door shakes.]
Bradley: The animals are getting restless.
[A trumpeting noise is heard. Bradley wafts the smell with his hand.]
Bradley: Not to mention, smelly.
[The cellar door opens, fumes emanating from within. Stacy (as a deer) jumps out.]
Stacy: I need air!
[William (as a bear), Dill (as a parrot), Lance (as a lion) and Melody (as a turtle) exit the cellar, complaining. Russell (as a pig) sticks his head out the cellar door.]
Russell: What?
[Stacy stands next to Bradley, panting.]
Bradley: Something wrong, my... deer?
Stacy: Cut it out, Bradley. It's my turn to be captain now.
Bradley: Yeah, right. A captain with antlers?
Stacy: I'm so sure. Better than one with flippers.
Bradley: Hey!
Dill: Holy mackerel! Iceberg off the platform bow or what?
Ms. Mobley: Class, I think it's time to bring out the rainy day fun sack.
Ms. Mobley: I know it will. We've got games and puzzles and fun and educational activities.
[Everyone looks at Ms. Mobley, uninterested.]
Bradley: Fun and educational? As if.
Stacy: No kidding. That's like "family" and "entertainment".
Ms. Mobley: Oh, look, class. It's Mr. Happy Dog.
Stacy: S-N-A-R-F-E-X. That's 37 points for me.
Bradley: Hold it. Snarfex? That sounds like a real word to me.
Stacy: Is not. I made it up.
Bradley: Yeah, right. I bet it's in the dictionary.
Stacy [offscreen]: Then go ahead and find it, Einstein.
[She hands Bradley a dictionary.]
Bradley: Nah, it takes too long. So what is it?
Stacy: Snarfex: a device used by the ancient Egyptians to keep sand out of their noses.
Dill: Hey!
Stacy and Bradley: Alright!
[Dill covers his mouth and points as the fly lands on Russell's head. Everyone approaches him.]
Russell: What?
Bradley: Don't move, Russell. The Venus flytrap's next meal just landed on your head.
Lance: Cool! It hasn't been fed in weeks.
Lance: [laughs] This should be brutal, man.
Stacy: The great plant Mookoo Mookoo Ga Ga Goo Goo will now bring back the sun.
Bradley: Yes! About time.
Stacy: But first, it demands a living sacrifice.
Russell: W-W-W-W-What?
Lance: Quit freaking, dude. You're gonna scare the fly.
[Russell looks at the fly. The Venus flytrap emerges next to Russell and eats him.]
Stacy: Ew.
Bradley: Cool.
[Lance sticks out his middle fingers.]
Lance: Whoa.
Bradley: Aw, man! I knew we should've washed Russell off the fly first.
Dill [offscreen]: Holy mackerel!
Dill: Is it working or what?
Ms. Mobley: I have a wonderful idea, class. We can use the overhead projector to make shadow puppets. Isn't that creative?
[Everyone looks at Ms. Mobley, uninterested.]
Ms. Mobley: Of course it is.
Ms. Mobley [offscreen]: See? It's a bunny. Hop hop hop hop.
Bradley [offscreen]: I can do a dog, Ms. Mobley.
Ms. Mobley [offscreen]: That's very good, Brad.
Bradley [offscreen]: Uh-oh, he’s got rabies!
Stacy [offscreen]: I'll save you, Ms. Mobley.
Bradley [offscreen]: Hey! Cut it out, Stace!
Lance [offscreen]: You want me to pound him for you, Ms. Mobley?
[Russell sticks his hand out, fumes emanating from it.]
Russell [offscreen]: Yeah, pound puppy.
[The scene cuts to black as the sound of Lance and Russell beating up Stacy and Bradley is heard. Stacy and Bradley are now sitting on the floor, looking at Ms. Mobley while Lance, Russell and the other kids laugh.]
Russell: [chuckling] Aw, yeah...
Ms. Mobley: Oh, dear. I think some of us need to release a little pent-up energy. I know, I've just had a wonderful proactive idea, class.
Stacy and Bradley: Uh oh.
Ms. Mobley: We can all go down to the gymnasium!
[The students morph into their gym outfits. They cheer and jump.]
Ms. Mobley [offscreen]: To perform country line dancing!
[The students morph into cowboy outfits. They groan.]
Dill: Holy mackerel, y'all!
Ms. Mobley: Won’t that be fun?
Stacy: Run for it!
Ms. Mobley: Now, class...
Ms. Mobley: Inmates will proceed to the gymnasium... single file.
[Everyone groans and marches in place in a single file line.]
William: Dancing... with girls?
Melody: Dancing... with boys?
Lance: Bummer.
Russell: What?
Stacy: No way! I'm calling my lawyer. They can't make me dance.
Bradley: I'm not going down without a fight.
Principal Coffin: Hmmm, riot in Cell Block M. Time to unleash the hounds. Mr. Lederhosen, sick 'em!
Mr. Lederhosen: I'll make them all drop and give me a thousand push-ups.
Ms. Mobley: All right, settle down.
[The students run away as Mr. Lederhosen turns on the light. Ms. Mobley is now tied up.]
Ms. Mobley: Rainy days are such a challenge, aren't they?
Bradley: They'll never take me alive!
Stacy: Bradley?
Bradley: Stacy?
Stacy and Bradley: You can't hide in here!
Bradley: What do you mean? This is the boys' room.
[Beat.]
Bradley: Isn't it?
Stacy: It's the girls' room, for your big fat information... I think.
Stacy and Bradley: Who cares?!
Mr. Lederhosen: What we have here is a failure to cooperate.
[Everyone steps out of their stalls. A foghorn blares as Lance leaves his stall, clutching his throat and groaning.]
Lance: Okay! Okay! I'll dance! I can't take it anymore, dude!
Mr. Lederhosen: Jumping gym socks! One of you prisoners needs a good hosing down.
[The camera cuts to Russell, standing over a toilet seat in his stall.]
Russell: What?
Mr. Lederhosen: Everyone to the gym and into their dancin' shoes, double time! Hut-hut-hut-hut!
[Everyone groans as they leave the bathroom. Russell pushes the toilet handle and flushes himself.]
Lance: Attaboy, Russell! Run for it, dude!
[Mr. Lederhosen pulls Lance away. Outside, Russell emerges from the ground, gasping. In the gymnasium, Ms. Mobley presses the play button on the music player.]
Ms. Mobley: Here we go, everyone. Who knows how to do the boot scoot boogie?
Ms. Mobley: The tush-push?
[Everyone gasps as a silhouette of someone appears at the door. A foghorn blares.]
Lance: Whoa!
Stacy and Bradley: Aw man, what's that funky smell?
Russell: What?
Bradley: Russell? We've thought you escaped.
Russell: Went home to get my threads.
Ms. Mobley: Perhaps we can make up our own dance steps. Won't that be fun?
Russell: Yeah. Fun.
All, except Russell: What?!
Lance: Are you feeling okay, dude?
[Russell looks at the camera. Beat.]
Russell: Do... the Russell.
[Russell spins and dances as a spotlight shines on him. Light bulbs appear above the kids' heads, transforming into disco balls.]
All: Do the Russell!
[Russell spins and slides across the floor. He clicks his tongue as he makes finger guns. The kids dance past Principal Coffin and Mr. Lederhosen.]
Kids: What's that smell?
[Principal Coffin and Mr. Lederhosen glance at each other.]
Principal Coffin and Mr. Lederhosen: What’s that funky smell?
Russell: Do the Russell!
[Russell smiles as the iris closes on him, ending the episode.]