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Uncle Saggy is nothing man, I'm talking a real movie! This article is either a stub or is under construction. Things might get changed or edited later. You can help the Stickin' Around Wiki by fixing to this article. |
Russell: What?
Bradley: Or Russell.
Lance: But tomorrow’s another day, dweeb.
[Lance kisses his fist and laughs as Bradley groans.]
Ms. Mobley: It isn’t often we are privileged to be in the company of a true genius, and there is one student amongst us who has outshone even my own hopelessly idealistic expectations for academic excellence.
Bradley: Gee, I wonder who that could be?
[Stacy sits up straight at her desk and smiles smugly at Bradley. Ms. Mobley passes a report card to Stacy.]
Ms. Mobley: [offscreen] Congratulations, Russell!
[Russell looks around the room awkwardly before looking at Ms. Mobley.]
Russell: [confused] What?
Ms. Mobley: You’ve got straight A quadruple pluses!
[Ms. Mobley hands the report card to Russell. He takes it and opens it. His eyes widen as he looks inside.]
Students: What?
Principal Coffin: What?
Stacy: What?
[Stacy opens her report card and gasps.]
Stacy: Bradley, I flunked!
[A piece of Stacy’s egg head cracks. Bradley looks inside the crack.]
Bradley: Whoa! Nobody home!
[Ms. Mobley places a clothespin on her nose.]
Ms. Mobley: At last, my sensitive nurturing teaching methods have allowed a young genius to blossom...
[Lance watches as Russell walks with Ms. Mobley to the front of the classroom.]
Ms. Mobley: ...where there was once a sullen and monosyllabic wasteland.
[Principal Coffin shrugs at Russell. Russell blinks.]
Ms. Mobley: Russell, these are people from the university.
Ms. Mobley: They want you to join their special genius outreach program.
Lance: Run for it, dude!
Russell: What?
[Lance, Bradley and Dill watch as the scientists chatter and pull Russell out of the classroom.]
Principal Coffin: I’m his principal.
Lance: Whoa. What a way to go, dude.
Ms. Mobley: Russell, this is your classroom do whatever project your young genius heart desires. Won’t that be fun?
[Russell grabs a welding mask and turns on a welding torch. He smiles viciously.]
Russell: Yeah. Fun.
Ms. Mobley: Of course it is.
[The scientists chatter as they write notes on their clipboards. Cut to the courtyard, where three kids are laughing and playing at recess. A foghorn blares and the kids scream and run away as Lance carries a skunk wearing Russell’s hat.]
Lance: Let’s go, dude.
Lance: What’s the big idea, Stickler? Your report card’s even worse than mine, man. [hands the report card back to Stacy] Take it back, dude.
Stacy: This is harsh.
Stacy: Ever heard of the old “dog ate my homework” ploy, B-Man?
Bradley: I’ve tried it like a million times and I don’t even own a dog.
Stacy: This one’s going to be even better. School dumpster cats ate my report card.
[The dumpster cats screech and arch their backs at Stacy.]
Bradley: Whoa! Careful, Stace. It’s a jungle out there.
[Stacy approaches the cats.]
Stacy: Here, kitty-kitty-kitties.
[The cats morph into lions and Stacy backs away cautiously.]
Stacy: [nervously] Nice kitties.
Bradley: Run for it, Stace!
Lance: Does that mean those braniac dudes are gonna get Russell back?
Ms. Mobley: Oh, dear. Poor Russell. I hope this doesn’t undermine his newfound sense of self-esteem. He’s been working so diligently all day long, building something very special for the entire school.
Stacy: Russell?
Bradley: Building something?
Ms. Mobley: Yes. Isn’t that nice, class?
[Cut to Russell experimenting and welding in the laboratory.]
Lance: [offscreen] Whoa, dude. Little guy only knows how to build one thing.
Principal Coffin: Space shuttle? Atomic submarine? Radio telescope?
[The scientists chatter and write notes on their clipboards.]
Students: A stink bomb?!
Ms. Mobley: Oh my! Now that doesn’t sound very nice at all, does it?
Stacy: Way to go, B-Man. You crashed the school computers and created a smelly evil genius.
Bradley: There is it! The not-so-secret lair of the evil Dr. Russell von Smell-So-Bad!
Principal Coffin: Yes? What is it?
Bradley: Good afternoon, sir. [pulls at his collar] Is the evil genius of the house at home?
[Bradley smiles nervously.]
Principal Coffin: The genius is not to be disturbed.
Lance: Do you dudes know what you’ve done? We’re doomed, man!
Principal Coffin: A stink bomb?
Russell: Yeah, big stink.
[Russell laughs and watches as the scientists scream and exit the laboratory. Principal Coffin runs, wearing a princess dress and hat.]
Principal Coffin: Women and principals first!
Russell: Come to Papa.
Dill: Whoa, man!
Bradley: What’s that funky smell?
Russell: What?
Ms. Mobley and Principal Coffin: What?
Scientists: What?
Stacy and Bradley: What?
Lance: Russell?
Russell: What?
[Lance smiles.]
Lance: You’re a genius, dude.
Russell: Yeah.
[Russell wafts the smell with his hand, sniffs the air and smiles, ending the episode.]