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Uncle Saggy is nothing man, I'm talking a real movie! This article is either a stub or is under construction. Things might get changed or edited later. You can help the Stickin' Around Wiki by fixing to this article. |
Dill: Awesome scream, Stacy! Nice range, girl!
Lance: And beauty job drooling all over your homework.
Russell: Yeah, cool school drool.
Bradley: Man! Anybody got a blige pump?
[Stacy wipes her mouth and looks at Bradley disapprovingly.]
Ms. Mobley: Oh dear! Stacy, Bradley, maybe you two could go to the audiovisual room and get the equipment for this afternoon's health class.
Stacy and Bradley: Yes, Ms. Mobley.
[Stacy and Bradley leave. Ms. Mobley frowns as Russell grunts aggressively. William looks at him, suspicious. Lance is standing beside Russell, smiling slyly.]
Ms. Mobley: Oh, my. Yes, Russell?
Lance: Can me and Russell go to the washroom, please?
Ms. Mobley: Both of you?
Lance: Uh, yeah. Russell has laryngitis and... if he gets lost, he won't be able to ask for directions.
Russell: [mumbling] What?
[Lance silences Russell with his hand. Russell's muffled shouts can be heard.]
Ms. Mobley: [offscreen] I see.
Lance: [stammering] That, uh, s-s-s-sounds like f-f-fun.
Russell: Yeah. Fun.
Bradley: Well, next time it's on, we'll try to give you boys a call.
Stacy: [offscreen] Good idea, B-Man.
[Stacy grabs a cassette tape.]
Stacy: I taped it last night, and we can watch it at my place at lunch.
Lance and Russell: We can?
Stacy: Sure. You'd like to see it one more time, wouldn't you, B-Man?
Bradley: Uh, well, the truth is, Stace, I didn't exactly see it the first time.
Stacy: Oh no duh! All the stuff you just said never happened! You had your eyes closed the whole time, didn't you?
[Bradley pulls out a pair of opaque glasses.]
Bradley: I mailed away for 'em.
[Stacy snatches the glasses from Bradley.]
Stacy: No crutches, B-Man. You're going down.
Bradley: You're not gonna make me watch it for real, are you, Stace?
Stacy: Not if you don't want to. Of course, if you don't, I just might have to tell the Edison Twins over there the truth.
[Stacy points her thumb at Lance and Russell, imagined as gorillas. Russell hits Lance's arm with his fist and Lance does the same, hitting him so hard he collides with a nearby locker. Lance and Russell smile at Bradley.]
Stacy: [offscreen] I don't think they'd like it if they knew you were lying to them.
[Bradley gulps nervously as Stacy walks away, pushing the TV cart.]
Stacy: So what'll it be, Mr. Fearless?
Bradley: [nervously] Come on, guys. Don't wanna miss the movie.
[The scene transitions to Stacy’s living room. She closes the blinds and sits on the couch with Bradley, Lance and Russell.]
Stacy: Okay, boys. Showtime.
Bradley: [gulps] What's a stroke feel like?
Lance: Come on, let’s do it!
Russell: [voice breaking] Yeah. Do it.
Stacy: You asked for it.
[Stacy picks up the remote and turns the TV on. Everyone stares at it anxiously.]
Announcer: Turn Your Head and Cough Productions proudly presents another in our series of award-winning personal hygiene films, The Wonderful World of Wiping.
[The TV shows a scientist standing in front of a table with various cleaning supplies. It cuts to a shot of a roll of paper towels against a sparkly background and then to a shot of a bottle of liquid hand soap.]
Stacy: [offscreen] What? That's not how it started last night!
[Cut to a shot of a sponge.]
Lance: [offscreen] What are you trying to pull, Stickler? This is just some stupid health movie!
[Russell groans anxiously as the screen shows a germ and a bar of soap.]
Bradley: [nervously] It is? Whoo-hoo!
[Lance glares at Bradley.]
Bradley: I mean, nuts! What a drag! I wanted to see that Slasher guy again. [speaking softly to himself] Whoo-hoo.
Lance: Is this your idea of a nerd-o joke? Pretty funny... not!
[The TV shows a germ wearing Russell’s hat. It sticks its tongue out as question marks appear above it.]
Announcer: ...filthy, nasty little germ. If you want to hide so no one can find you.
[Cut to a shot of a toilet with arrows pointing at its seat and lid.]
Stacy: Wait a minute. "The Wonderful World of Wiping?" Oh no! I must've switched the tapes when I got that TV set for Ms. Mobley!
Bradley: Which means the health class is about to watch...
Stacy, Bradley and Lance: Slasherface V!
[Stacy, Bradley and Lance are startled by Russell screaming from offscreen. Russell is curled up in a fetal position, wide-eyed, with his fingers to his mouth. His body shakes.]
Russell: Turn it off, man! Turn it off!
Lance: Uh oh! All this clean stuff must be freaking him out. Soap overload!
[Stacy takes the tape out of the video cassette player.]
Stacy: Look, we'd better get that other tape back or we'll be overloading on detentions for the rest of our lives! Let's go!
[Stacy leaves the room. Russell is still sitting on the couch, shaking uncontrollably.]
Russell: [mumbling] Poor little germs.
[Russell's eyes widen and his lips tremble as he sniffles. Back at school, Stacy, Bradley, Lance and Russell open Ms. Mobley's classroom door, worried.]
Ms. Mobley: Excellent! Everyone's here! Take your seats, please.
[Ms. Mobley pushes the "Slasherface V" tape into the video cassette player. She turns off the light and leaves, closing the door behind her.]
Bradley: Oh no!
Principal Coffin: That's more like it, Ms. Mobley.